Monday, August 1, 2011

Have faith

So anyway there were these two Religious fanatics who were canvasing the area for people who couldn't run as fast as they could and disabled kids and trees and anything that would pay them the attention they craved.

So they went to this one little cottage and knocked on the door and scoped out the resident's mail while they waited in case there was anything nice they could borrow.

The door was opened by a sweet faced young woman and her fit and healthy husband. (If his insurance and gym membership were anything to go by).

The female fanatic quickly put her foot between the door and the wall to keep it open. She wore reinforced boots, not just because they made her look extra pious and holy and therefor earned her bonus points but also because of the many times her foot had been nearly crushed to a pulp in people's frantic attempts to get away from her Divine Message.

But the young lady did not panic, did not chase them away swearing or using the Devils logic to drive them back. After making sure no large dogs or cocked weapons were in the area, the Religion nutters were cautiously optimistic.

They went inside and sat on the sofa. It was a nice one. Very comfortable. They hated it at once.

"Do you know our Lord and Saviour?" the male one asked, waving aside offered biscuits, all hyped and ready to get his sales pitch on.

"We do go to services" replied the young lady, feeling a little put out and glad she'd not used the good biscuits.

"Ah but do you LOVE HIM?!!" foamed the male fanatic, "Would you DIE for HIM?!!"

"I would" replied the husband, calmly.

He then removed a pistol from his shirt and shot himself pointblank in the head.

"He's a man of conviction" said his pretty, brain splattered bride.

The Religious loons sat there with their mouths open. Partly because of shock and partly because they had bits of the now ex husband in their mouths and swallowing wasn't really optional.

"He had strong faith", smiled the wife. "And I wonder", she said as she picked up the now rather sticky pistol and aimed it at her new friends, "how strong, is yours?"